Our Words

"Be careful with your words. Once they are said, they can only be forgiven, not forgotten."
~ Dr. Monée N. Merriweather

Asking for Help

"Asking for help can be the beginning of a new beginning."
~Dr. Monée N. Merriweather

The Here and Now

"Living in the here and now can help alleviate past and future pain.  The choice is yours."
~by Dr. Monée N. Merriweather

In My Dreams

"In my dreams I see and believe, yet when I awake I am left with a subtle pain from within that is somehow comforted in knowing my dreams will once again, in the night, embrace me." 
~by Dr. Monée N. Merriweather

A Place

"Think of a place you have not seen in awhile or a place you have been admiring to see.  Now plan for it."  ~by Dr. Monée N. Merriweather

In This Moment

"Now is the moment that matters most because in this moment can be the purposeful creation of that next moment."  ~by Dr. Monée N. Merriweather

Memories

"Memories were once our today now living in our yesterday that mostly derived from our moments of choice."        ~by Dr. Monée N. Merriweather

Being Mindful

"When you think you can go no further, be mindful that giving up is only a thought and not an only option."
~by Dr. Monée N. Merriweather

It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.  ~Aristotle Onassis

Through the Years!

A Mother's Love...

I am not the world's greatest mother, but I know that I am the best mom I can be to my children.  I love them with all of my heart.  When they hurt, it kills me inside and when they are happy, I can't help but glow.
                                                                                                                           ~Anonymous

Dear Mother,

For over five decades, your heart has been by my side and even when I was distracted with my own life. And it wasn't until I had my own daughter that I realized that your heart never left me, not for a second, not for a moment, not ever...

Your daughter,
Monée 

Test Anxiety & Americans with Disabilities Act

Statistics now show, more than any other time in our history, many students have begun to exhibit test anxiety characteristics because of increased emphasis on national wide high-stakes testing. A client recently phoned my private practice in hopes of seeking relief from his debilitating test-taking anxiety by receiving an extension of time with the approval of the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990. He was attending a community college with hopes of becoming a doctor in his field. During my assessment, it was discovered that he had been experiencing severe test-taking anxiety since the age of five where he would cry, scream and urinate on himself. However, when his concerned mother decided to home-school him in 1st grade, for a total of eight years, she had no idea that her son had been experiencing test anxiety. My client shared, "When I entered high school and in the 9th grade, I constantly felt like I had the flu and then recently I realized this severe anxiety happened right before test-taking and without fail." The client added, "This semester, at three o'clock in the morning, I was throwing up all night and for four hours straight before an exam." With my client having had no other anxieties associated with his personal or professional life, I had given him a mental health diagnosis of Specific Phobia, (300.29), Severe, Situational Type. Test anxiety is most often defined as a situation-specific anxiety trait with emotionality and worry as its major components. In the terminology of the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), test anxiety is a specific phobia, situational type. In the case of my client, the situation was test-taking. So then, in lieu of my clients relevant history and diagnosis, it was clear that he possessed a test-taking disability where he was significantly limited in realizing his full potential within the realm of his formal education, a major life activity. Additionally, once test anxiety is determined, the remediation of its debilitating effects can begin. The treatment for test-taking anxiety in a traditional school setting includes the modification of time, test setting and test presentation and the teaching of test-taking and study skills. In the case of my client, whose study habits were exemplary, I requested on his behalf, a modification of time (double-time), a modified test setting environment and for the duration of his formal education. Traditionally, there is a higher percentage of test anxiety among females as apposed to males; however, regardless of gender, if you are dealing with test anxiety, you are not alone and help is available. Licensed professionals are available to assess, diagnose and treat this treatable condition with the possibility of the writing of a professional letter to better help for a more promising educational future!"

Jesse James & Infidelity

Jesse James allegedly settled his 2006 - 2007 sexual harassment lawsuit for seven hundred and twenty-five thousand dollars. Many would say that that was a high price to pay for an unfaithful marital act, but to someone of great wealth and fame, settling such a case out of court is better than airing one's dirty laundry. But no matter who you are or where you come from, exposed infidelity can be a devastating and humiliating situation for everyone involved. Infidelity is not a new concept and has been around since the beginning of time and actually serves a purpose for the individual who strays from home. Not to make excuses for the one committing such an act, but it takes two to create a relationship that can include the good, the bad and the ugly. Relational signs that can possibly lead to infidelity are emotional detachment, relational boredom and a stressful home environment. Take a moment to take inventory of your relationship, then make a sincere effort to communicate with your partner and most of all, take responsibility for your part in the relationship. Even if your relational issues seem too challenging to face, find the courage to face them, find the courage to stand up for you, for your partner and for your family's future!

Role Modeling & Change

Dear Mr. Kenneth Barnell:

Thank you for seeking out my professional services in hopes of finding a better way to help your daughter Chanelle thrive to include your family as a whole. All in all, helping Chanelle is not about holding on to diagnoses, but rather identifying challenging behaviors and learning ways to change them.
In thinking about Chanelle, I recall my teenage years. During that time, it was difficult for my mother to give me a voice due to her cultural upbringing. So then, I left home at a young age and never returned to which our relationship became estranged, twenty-eight years to be exact. I know my mother did the best she could, but her best pushed me away. So then, my heart goes out to the younger generation because of what I had experienced via my family dynamics and I do not want you, her mother Scarlet or Chanelle to ever find yourselves in that position.

Enclosed you will find information that I was exlaining to you and your family in our first session. I know change is difficult, but change is possible and if you and Scarlet are willing to make an effort to listen to Chanelle's wants and needs, respectfully, you have a greater chance of having the daughter you envision and she having the parents she envisions; parents are the role models to their children. In fact, before we, as professionals, can somehow establish cause and effect of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), we must first work on the environmental issues, i.e., family dynamics. However, should family counseling not create a positive outcome, we may then recommend psychotropic medication coupled with counseling and hope that medication is temporary.
You have a beautiful daughter, a beautiful family, and I hope that you and Scarlet can begin to rise above for Chanelle's emotional, mental and physical well being--giving her an environment that allows her to thrive.
Thank you for your time and I wish you and your family the very best!
Sincerely,
Dr. Monée N. Merriweather
POSTED BY DR. MONÉE N. MERRIWEATHER AT 10:21 PM NO COMMENTS:
MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 2010

Counseling Anxiety & Client Expecations

Dear Deborah:

In lieu of how our last session ended with Marsha, I felt it important to share my professional thoughts.

For over eleven years, I have been servicing children and their families and take great pride in working with this population. In fact, I am very careful and conservative when it comes to working with children because their hearts and minds are very delicate as they try to find their way into this world which begins with their most valuable and impressionable relationships—parents and extended family.

It is understood that Marsha has been suffering with moderate to severe anxiety and as a result is taking psychotropic medication and through her verbal report and family reports, this has been controlling a seemingly genetic/organic situation. So then, to better serve Marsha, who I believe is also dealing with panic attacks and separation anxiety, it was important for me to take this information, along with knowing from the very beginning that Marsha had been using specific anxiety techniques which time and time again were detailed in her journals, and combine an additional technique, behavioral therapy, in hopes that it would help her effectively develop familial relationships. Furthermore, regarding Marsha's fear of dying, this phobia is considered normal in children ages 7 to 16 years and in my professional opinion needs to be dealt with not by the need to “fix”, but rather, by the position of acceptance and respect in order to better help her rise above.

I am not sure what type of information you have received from your family member who is a Psychologist, but as a Doctor of Psychology myself, I have read and studied many therapeutic theories and use an eclectic approach to better serve my clients. But within that knowledge, I understand that each psychological theory within my field is primarily based upon the personality type of the theorist who created it which takes on a self serving position at that. In addition to this, psychology is not an exact science that many professionals or lay people believe it to be which can be confirmed by a collection of for or against arguments which includes the assessment, diagnosis and treatment of any disorder including anxiety disorders. For example, there is an anxiety theory by William Glasser called Choice Theory for children and adults which mainly focuses on belonging, connecting, love, power, significance, competence, freedom, responsibility and fun learning—cognitive and behavioral therapies used. In addition, when you examine Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), my insurance diagnosis for Marsha (diagnosing being a tool), is postulates that it is not yet known what causes GAD; however, it tends to run in families and it is possible that there is a genetic component, but it could also be that it is a learned response within a family (please note that there were no absolute words in the sentence above, but rather, the words used in successive order were: tends, possible and could). In fact, modern brain scan technology may eventually help determine if there is a particular area of the brain that is the site of General Anxiety Disorder. Continuing on, another study postulates that panic disorders in young children are less likely to have the symptoms that involve ways of thinking (cognitive symptoms, thus cognitive therapy). For example, panic attacks in children may result in the child’s grades declining (or exceptional grades in Marsha’s case), not fitting in with peers (one of Marsha’s issues) and separation from parents (another issue for Marsha) and in the end, with the real causes of panic disorders not being known. Furthermore, when researching and evaluating effective ways parents/caregivers can alleviate stress and anxiety in children, the initial treatment options include not dismissing her feelings, listening to her, offering her comfort and distractions and setting a calm example. These are things that Marsha has been asking for in our sessions in relation to you, her father and Margie which all of you have been seemingly working on. In a nutshell, these techniques fall under the realm of behavioral therapy—relational issues. But all in all, who is to say which therapeutic technique is the best for any given client? We do not know and that is why our client’s voice matters as we patiently and carefully assess, diagnose and treat and then look at the results of our work from week to week. The greatest success I have had with children, families, their educators and comprehensive treatment professionals, no matter what the issues, has been in helping to build stronger and healthier relationships—across the board.

After evaluating your therapeutic concerns that were shared in our last session, to include Margie, I am concerned that Marsha may now feel that what she has accomplished thus far in our work together has not been good enough—again, a relational family issue which I believe deserves to be therapeutically explored while attempting to better understand what percentage her condition is based on genetics, environmental stressors and/or brain function. And although Marsha and I have talked about the possibility of her outgrowing her anxiety issues, focusing on that is not enough in terms of helping her to cope with the current reality of her anxiety—helping her to learn how to “live with” who she is as apposed to who she “might be in the future” is a much more empowering and effective therapeutic (cognitively speaking) stance. And so, I am here to say that I am more than happy to continue my work with Marsha, but there needs to be a collective understanding that counseling is a process that deserves time, patience and respect for the unknown. There is no therapeutic technique guarantee and if any professional in psychology/counseling believes contrary to this, they are being prideful along with providing a disservice to their clients. The most important part of my work is to “do no harm” with any given client. But one thing I will say with confidence is that Marsha’s voice matters and it is imperative that her family believes this and acts accordingly, with compassion. You as Marsha’s role model, to include her father and Margie, have the most significant impact in her life that in my professional opinion goes beyond professional assessing, diagnosing and treating.

Thank you for your time and please let me know how you would like to proceed regarding my work with Marsha and your family as a whole. For now, to be respectful of your current position, I will be canceling my conference call with Dr. Ross. All in all, I wish Marsha and your family the very best!

Sincerely,
Dr. Monée N. Merriweather
POSTED BY DR. MONÉE N. MERRIWEATHER AT 8:49 PM NO COMMENTS:
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 31, 2010

Home Foreclosures & Depression

In the last twelve months, with more than 300,000 properties in the U.S.A having received foreclosure filings, depression has become a national epidemic. In fact, one study showed that one-third of people going through foreclosure met the screening criteria for ""major depression" and with a significant number of them being without health insurance. Major Depressive symptoms include, but are not limited to, sleep problems, loss of appetite, inability to concentrate, memory problems and aches and pains. The 'American Dream' in our country has, for many, been pride in home ownership and once realized, coupled with hope and promise for the future; however, with the realization of home foreclosure, despair and defeat can cause a lack of emotional, mental and physical well being. For those individuals who are losing their homes and feel hopelessness and humiliation, you are not alone. Find the strength to reach out to family, friends and/or to a community of professionals, including your lender, who may compassionately and/or resourcefully intervene as you search for necessary answers. The road ahead may get worse before it gets better, but as long as personal effort is being made to do something 'different', there is hope and promise for the future. No matter what, take that first step and press forward because change begins with us--one heart, one thought, one courageous step at a time."
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 24, 2010